Christians come up with funniest interpretations for Scripture. I laughed pretty hard when I found out that some of them use the story of Lazarus and the rich man to preach a gospel of poverty, and to excuse themselves from the biblical promises on prosperity. Before then, it never occurred to me the story could be used that way, since Jesus tells us outright the point he tries to make, which is not really about money. Let me change the story a little, then perhaps you can see what I see.

There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.

The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Solomon’s side. The rich man also died and was buried. In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Solomon far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, “King Solomon, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.”

King Solomon mumbled something, but the rich man could not hear him. Solomon knew what the problem was, because this happened often. So he took out his shovel, and after two hours he was finally able to dig himself out of the mountain of gold that was on top of him.

He crawled out of the hole, and after catching his breath, he said, “Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.”

He answered, “Then I beg you, king, send Lazarus to my father’s house, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.” Solomon was choking on gold dust and his face turned bright red. Diamonds were dripping out of his nose and ears. He was struggling, but he managed to say, “They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them. They can do what I did. Allocate their loose change to hire five hundred scribes to read the Scripture to them, up and down, day and night. Easy.”

“No, King Solomon,” he said, “but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.” Solomon tripped on a huge gold bar and fell into a swamp of precious stones. Lazarus tried to pull him out, but they both started to sink. Before he was completely submerged, he shouted, “If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.”

Get it now? The IDIOTS’ interpretation does not fit. The Christian poverty scam would appear ridiculous if the story was written this way, but it is not very different when Abraham is in it. How can this passage promote a doctrine of poverty, or devalue prosperity in any way, when Abraham was likely even more wealthy in his time than the rich man in the story?